Personality Quiz You find it difficult to: Introduce yourself to attractive Danish supermodels and more attractive Danish sideboards. Introduce yourself to new people, when they fail to open the boot of their car. Introduce yourself to, and make a professional connection with, shoals of up to 1200 Humboldt squid, hunting the ocean at speeds of up to 24km p/h. You often get so lost in thoughts that you forget: What feet are for. That Moby ever existed. Your fatal shellfish allergy. You find it easy to stay relaxed: When you’re dosed up on opiates. Even though Megan Trainor continues to make music. When carried by the scruff of your neck in your mother’s powerful jaws. You feel superior to: Dads in TV commercials who can’t tell the difference between their childrens’ breakfast cereal and a decommissioned Slovakian reactor. Yourself, before you finally conquered that very tough Mintie. Most zippers. Your work environment is: Clean, tidy and snug in the crotch. Currently on fire. A wide range of toilets. Your mood changes: Faster than your relaxed ears and tail suggest According to what’s happening with your sports team or voodoo doll. The very fabric of Time. Agree or Disagree? Being able to develop a plan and stick to it is the most important part of every project: What are you talking about. Shut up. I will find you and I will kill you. You enjoy going to social events that involve: You entering city gates, in an armoured tank. 1-2 venue changes/ signs of the Apocalypse. Going to the races, drinking bubbly in a marquee, bedding a stockbroker, waking up alone & unemployed at your parents' & realising that you “accidentally” drank your ferret’s ear medication again. You rarely feel insecure: Because you’ve got seven rows of teeth, no moral compass and a seal in your sightline. Because if that many generations of villagers have tried to burn you at the stake, you must be doing something right. Because you’re invariably flooded with rage and urine. If your friend is sad you are likely to: Offer emotional support, by patting her head lightly with a tennis racket that has been spritzed with disinfectant. Surprise her with the gift of a headless pigeon on her doorstep. Change her globe.