Mexican Quesadilla – Full Flavour Version
Preparation time: 1-4 hours depending on the level of medication that you’re on.
Serves: Two not very hungry people or one hung-over and/or pregnant person
Degree of Difficulty: Easier than being in a long-term relationship, but harder than making a sandwich.
- Place a frozen margarita at arms length, because girls just wanna have fun!
- Start The Katering Show™ Mexicana Festiana playlist on Spotify!
- Preheat oven to a temperature that suits your appliance. Maybe it’s 100 degrees; maybe it’s 200, who knows? We’re celebrity chefs, not psychic ballet dancers.
- Mash beans, tomatoes, onion and cumin together in a bowl.
- Spoon mixture onto your tortillas and top with grated cheese; be sure to leave enough room to fold the tortilla over.
- Fold tortillas using a similar motion to the one you might make when you mime closing a book.
- Place on baking tray and brush with oil.
- Bake in oven for 20 minutes or until the tortillas and cheese are golden, like an angel with burnt hair.
- Remove from oven and top with a dollop of avocado, a dash of smugness, a scoop of salsa verde, and a sprig of coriander.
Bon Appetite! Or, as they say in Mexico, Ole!
 Pronounced Mexican ‘Kay-Sah-Deeeee-a!’
 Pronounced ‘Tort-eeeeeeee-a!’
 We used kidney beans, but feel free to use any beans that you’re on a first name basis with.
 Pronounced ‘queue-min’ or ‘koom-in’, depending on the school you went to.
 You can buy pre-grated cheese, but, honestly, what’s next? Frozen spinach? Whipped cream in a can? Store-bought flour? Come on, make an effort – get out the grater and start LIVING!
 Pronounced ‘salsa verr-(as in derrrrr)- day’! Definition: Salsa verde is a green sauce and there are lots of recipes on the Internet about how to make it, which we absolutely did on another day.
 If you are one of those people whose palate can’t abide coriander you can stop cooking now. You’re done. You and your stupid freak taste buds are not welcome around these parts.
 NB Producers: has that intern made the ‘The Katering Show Lifestyle Hub Mexicana Festiana™ Playlist’ on Spotify yet?
 We mashed ours in a very nice ceramic bowl, but you could use a plastic or paper bowl if you have failed to grasp the importance of high quality kitchen crockery.
Mexican Quesadillas – FODMAP version
- 6 tortillas
- 2 cups brown rice (we used cooked)
- 2 tomatoes, diced
- 1 tsp of asafoetida
- 1 calcium tablet, ground
- Mashed potato
- Green food dye
- Get a better immune system! Ha Ha! Just kidding! We respect you’re intolerances and the challenges that you’re facing in life.
- Make another frozen margarita. God knows you deserve it with what you and your loved ones have had to deal with over the years.
- Start the The Katering Show Mexicana Festiana Playlist™ on Spotify!
- Preheat your oven to a temperature.
- Mix rice, chopped tomatoes and asafoetida together in a bowl.
- Spread the mixture over your tortillas then sprinkle with your cheese substitute: a ground-up calcium tablet!
- Place tortillas on a baking tray. Brush with oil and place in your oven, microwave or fridge for 20 minutes.
- While the tortillas are incubating, add some green food dye to your mashed potato.
- Dollop mash potato on top of your tortillas and, if you have the energy to make an effort, add a sprig of coriander as a garnish.
Bon appetite! Or, as they say in Mexico, where did all those students go?