Instagram Cupcake – Made with Cupcake and The Mental Scars of Our Adolescence!
Preparation time: Somewhere between the time it takes to overcome an insult made by a boy at a train station in 1995 in reference to your fluid retentive ankles and watching an episode of Bones.
Serves: Defeats the overwhelming sense that nobody likes you and that we’re all alone in this world.
Degree of Difficulty: It’s pretty hard. You should probably leave it for someone else to do; you know, like someone who isn’t a total ugly, flat-chested, flat-faced, fat-ankled, dead-shit
- Wall putty or bathroom grout
- Pink food dye
- Plastic buttons in the shapes of bows and butterflies and hearts and vaginas
- Fake plastic pearls
- 1 tinseled rod
- 1 horrible blue feather
- 10 cm PVC piping
- Make cupcakes according to instructions on the back of your box of sanitary pads.
- Mix putty with food dye.
- Begin decorating cupcake.
- Seek some professional help. Seriously, this has gone on long enough. Your family and cat are all really worried about you.
 As mentioned in the episode (if you even bothered to watch it), we are not eating the cupcake – we’re just making it for ornamental purposes. It’ll be just like that time you made preserved lemons because you thought that cooking every recipe from Stephanie Alexander’s The Cook’s Companion would help you get through your divorce. Have you tried to eat preserved lemons? McLennan has and she woke up with blood in her bed. WE DO NOT ADVISE IT.
 You can buy these from various craft stores, but we extracted ours from the inner chamber of a broken sex toy.
 The Katering Show™ apologises if the term ‘tinseled rod’ dredges up memories of the painful time your Dachshund got an erection under the Christmas tree.
 Aldi Liquor is not a sponsor of The Katering Show™ or The Katering Show Lifestyle Hub™; in fact, for all the Veuve Olivier that McLennan puts away, The Katering Show Lifestyle Hub™, may as well be a sponsor of Aldi! Ha Ha! LOL (That’s a funny joke about alcoholism and gastritis.)
Watch The Episode – Food Porn