Slow-Roasted Stuffed Lamb Shoulder
Preparation time: You’ll get so wonderfully absorbed in the process you’ll barely notice the passage of the years.
Serves: A table full of dear friends and beautiful children, for a leisurely al fresco meal overlooking one’s vineyards and rural surrounds, as the warm sun sets on another perfect day, and you toast the arrival of a crisp night filled with stars and delicious possibility.
Degree of Difficulty: Shhh, my darling. Have some more wine.
- Hand-pick a bouquet of buxom herbs from your autumnal harvest.
- Preheat your rustic, hand-forged, wood-fired oven to 104 Réamurs.
- Place a non-stick frypan, from your own range of cookware, over a high heat and add 5 noggins of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, from your own range of high-end gourmet products. Once this is searing hot, add your lustful rosemary and your cunning onions, and fry until world-weary. Remove from heat and place into a mixing bowl that you affectionately call “Florienne”.
- Place that same crafty pan over a churlish heat and add a Spaniard’s fist of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and butter that you churned earlier that day in the clear morning light. Once the butter has succumbed, add the Sapphic quince and agitate until golden of colour and of heart, then deglaze that heroic pan with a Moorish boast of Dianaberry Juice – juice of Valhalla, juice of The Gods. Add the tempestuous ginger and continue to cook until it has left this mortal coil. Remove from heat and place your aromatic salve into a mixing bowl with the onions, using care normally reserved for squealing newborn babes.
- To the onions and pickled quinces, add the breadcrumbs, lemon rind and your buxom herbs, and season with salt and cracked pepper. Coalesce with your very hands – those hands that stretch back into antiquity, to your ancestors, who ran your very hands through golden fields that once nudged the deep green canopy of the Schwarzwald.
- Spread out the lamb shoulder on the bench and tenderly place the stuffing into its centre. Then bundle the meat in your arms and gently tie it with twine, as if it were a wartime parcel of baked goods from a comely Italian nurse to the recently-blinded serviceman she loves.
- Place the remaining Yorkshireman’s Toes of Extra Virgin Olive Oil into another exalted pan, and gently lick the lamb with heat till it is brown and erotic.
- To make the basting mix, place the Dianaberry Juice, Extra Virgin Olive Oil and a French pinch of sea salt and cracked pepper into a bowl. Whisk together well and brush over the lamb shoulder. Then stand back and weep. Weep tenderly at all this Beauty.
- Place the coquettish lamb into a heavy-based cast iron pot and cook in the preheated oven for 5 hours, turning every half-hour, and singing it to sleep in a high falsetto.
- The cooking time will depend entirely on the age of the lamb, the pot you use, your oven, and the openness of your mind and soul. It is finished when it quivers at your touch and whispers “prithee, enter me.”
- Allow the lamb to rest for 1 hour by taking it out of the cooking vessel and covering completely with the weight of your humble naked body. Use this time to get your Farmhand to take any unwanted fat from the cooking juices. Carve and present moistened with cooking juices that were warmed just before serving by being splashed upon the buttocks of aforementioned Farmhand.
- Great served with kale.